Having just completed a successful garage sale, Rosie's mom paid me in one-dollar-bills. I went to the market after babysitting to buy some shrimp, and the total came to $16. When did shrimp for one become so expensive? Probably somewhere between global warming and the new Red Lobster opening in Richmond. I decided it was worth the cost for a delicious shrimp dinner, and took out my wad of cash to pay. It took me a moment to carefully peel off 16 dollar-bills and when I handed it to the man at the counter, I noticed he was looking at me funny. Really funny. At first I assumed it was yet another case of mistaken vegetarian identity, but then I realized... he thought I was a stripper! A budget stripper. Awesome!!!
From now on, I think I'll always carry 50 ones with me wherever I go. You know, just to make spending my hard earned money a little less painful and a lot more uncomfortable for others. Maybe I'll even clip some coupons for things like air freshener, flea collars and Q-tips and put those in with the bills along with a large ball of weird, questionable lint.
2 months ago