The kids have been haranguing me about it for months now, so today I finally taught Gracie and Tyler how to smoke. They're pretty wet behind the ears, but I suppose that's to be expected from a couple of grade-school amateurs. Gracie had the cigarette in backwards at first and we had to start the whole thing over due to extreme sogginess. I made her give me 50 cents and a clean pair of socks for the ruined cigarette so she would learn a valuable lesson about prison commodities and their costs. Soon, however, both siblings had mastered the detached glare and the slouchy posture one needs in order to smoke convincingly.
Congratulations, kids! I think you're both naturals. Oh, but here's a free piece of advice: avoid American Spirits, they're really foul tasting. If you truly want to go natural, smoke Nat Shermans. They're a bit more expensive, but hey - what's a little allowance in exchange for a good time?
2 months ago